The Gift of Forgiveness

Day 4 - The Gift of Forgiveness

Before I even get started, I know this is something that I struggle with. I can feel it in my stomach and I haven't even read the lesson.

So today is about transcending limitations and forming positive new patterns of life based on who you know you can be, rather than who you were yesterday.  We must give up the former modes of thinking, feeling and behaving that keep us chained to our past.

This next change agent, one of the most liberating, is forgiveness.  Really, it is releasing the invisible ties to those who have left you, betrayed you, hurt or disappointed you, including yourself.  When you can forgive, you will open yourself up to higher realms of everything - love, joy, happiness and peace to name a few.

If you/we don't release these ties, we will remained imprisoned by these people/incidents for the rest of our lives.  And because our outside world is an exact reflection of our inside world (you might need to read that again, I know I did... a few times) these resentments, hurts, grudges etc., are situations that we re-create continually that spark the very same bad/hurt feelings we want to escape. So essentially we are the only ones keeping this alive within us. Those who have hurt us etc., have long moved on and were most likely never aware of their impact.

Resentment and grudges are two of the main culprits that keep us in the same self abuse and victim mentalities. They stay inside us and act like parasites and deplete and eventually destroy the life, energy, self worth, joy and love from us.

Today is about fighting back, getting rid of more toxins and ties that keep us from ourselves.  From connecting with ourselves, our hearts, our happiness and so much more.

As you say goodbye to the disappointments, the grief, you will discover that every person, situation and painful incident comes with its own gift.  These gifts free you of the pain that has caused you to react instead, to shut down instead of open up, to push away rather than to allow in and to judge rather than love.

The gifts are hidden until we take this next step to forgive.  This is a major turning point in this process. Are you ready?

Write a letter expressing all the pain and grief you have been holding on to and then in your letter, ask your highest self for release from the prison of your resentments, grudges and disappointments.

For outer self, what could you do today to forgive? What is the one action you could take int he outer world that will bring you closer to your goal?  For your inner self, what thought could you have/think to evoke the feeling that you outlined on our first day?

I will write a physical letter with the intention of finding the goal in every situation that I continue to haunt myself with. My purpose is to find the gift. If I understand this correctly, if I find the gift the goodness from this situation will release the pain and anguish I have been holding on to. One replaces the other.  Black changes to white, empty changes to full, hurt changes to joy, imprisonment changes to freedom and self hatred turns to forgiveness.  Or something like that... but you get the idea...

It isn't about simply releasing whatever "it" is, it is about looking at the situation with different eyes, with a different focus. Instead of looking at the hurt, see past it to see what the gift is.  What you have learned from it, what it can teach you, what did it trigger, that sort of thing. This act of finding the gift, will change your perception of the situation. Finding the gift will release the connection of pain you were holding onto.  Forgiveness comes by changing our perception of the situation, the person etc., and even ourselves.

If it helps, try writing this with your favorite music on in the background, a cup of tea, whatever you find comforting. Ground yourself, remind yourself why you are doing this and set your intention to be one of resolution. If you start this exercise from a place of grace, willingness and openness to finding your way through this, past this - it will work. It has to, as you have just changed your approach, your perception of the situation, taken the fear about it.  Instead of avoiding and running away from fear, you are sitting with it, comfortably and trying to find the good.

Remember, forgiveness is your ticket to personal freedom.

Sun Tzu - Big Time Risks, Big Time Rewards

High achievers take serious risks and overcome major obstacles to realize awesome returns.

While Sun Tzu calls for always being in the stronger position, he acknowledges that there will be battles where the odds against you are great.  Champions understand this kind of adversity.  They know what its like to go up against a difficult, seemingly impossible, insurmountable opponent. And they know what it means to defeat that opponent and in so doing, conquer themselves.

While women are often deemed more cautious than their male counterparts, women are not risk averse. In fact women taken on more debt to fund businesses, start twice as many companies as men, and take bigger risks than men.

Taking risk requires calculating the danger.  Sun Tzu urges an accurate and comprehensive picture of the battlefield, including the resilience of the enemy.  To be victorious, you must study the spirit of your opponent.  "The whole army may be robbed of its spirit and it commander deprived of his presence of mind. Now at the beginning of the campaign, the spirit of the solider is keep, after a certain amount of time it declines and in the later stage may be dwindled to naught. A clever commander therefore avoids the enemy when his spirit is keen and attack him when it is lost."

In addition to your resolute purpose and commitment to success, be mindful of the courage, resilience and commitment of your adversaries. Time your risks appropriately.

Yet again, these to learnings blend together to support each other. I have to say I love it and it continues to energize me a I do this hard work. I do hope it is the same for you