If you look around you see that the number 40 has a certain amount of significance. They say habits can be made or broken in 40 days, in the bible the flood lasted 40 days and 40 nights....I'm sure I could find more examples, but that is not the point of this post, it is to recognize that today I am turning 40.
I do not want a party or a big celebration because among other things, it is just a day. Albeit a special day because it is my birthday, but no more or no less meaningful than any other year. I am happy to be this age and wouldn't do anything to change it - not for one moment. As my life has progressed it has become so rich being filled with luck, laughter and so much love. It is those things that I want to celebrate today, not just an arbitrary number.
Perhaps turning 40 has allowed me the opportunity and luxury to look back on the past 40 years in order to prepare for the next 40. For that I am grateful and for that I am thankful.
When I look back over the years, truly, all I remember is the love and my goal for the rest of my years is to the same. To remember the goodness, the fun, the times spent with people I love and care deeply about - for they are all that really matter. If I were to die today, and I hope I don't because I have so much living left to do, I would be happy with myself, my life, my contributions and the impact I will have left on those that I have crossed paths with.
While I am sure I have made mistakes - too many to count in fact - I know that as I have grown and known better, I have done better and made better decisions. I know that as I learned to value others I have learned to value myself. I know that I have always tried to do my best and treat others as I want to be treated. I know that I have given without any hope or expectation of receiving - yet I know I have received far more than I have ever given.
I know that I have been lucky in all areas of my life - but most especially in love. I have had the love of the most wonderful man for almost 20 years and as each day passes that love only grows and deepens. I have had incredible love from a wonderful mother and father both from marriage and from birth. I have had love from extended family and so many dear friends and on occassions, from people I have never had the pleasure to meet.
I love my life and I am excited about what comes next and will embrace it without hesitation. I am grateful for this day of reflection and opportunity to remind me of what is important both now and for when I am gone.
Before I sign off to enjoy this day I want to say thank you to every person that has touched my life in any way - for you have made me who I am. I am so grateful for your love, your time and your attention and I hope that one day, when you remember me - all you remember is the love.
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