Trusting yourself

Today's quote got me to thinking about how we judge and question ourselves, in most cases too much.

Sometimes it is because of something we are doing for the first time and other times it is when we find ourselves repeating actions we have made a thousand times before.

Trusting ourselves should be an internal automatic function yet it is often dictated by external forces that we have given over power and control to.

I think when outside forces dictate what we think of and how we treat ourselves something is wrong or at the very least out of balance.

Yes there are the obvious rules of existence within any society and the rules of humanity, but beyond that nobody should have any impact upon our views of ourself.

We always want people to like us, be proud of us, approve of us and so many other things, but we don't need to look outside for these things. In fact the external will most times leave you empty because what we are really looking for is the approval and satisfaction of our own internal compass.

We've all learned for far too long that it is what others think of us is what matters and for the most part our lives are set up to continue this pattern. From the day we start school and get our first report card filled with letters rating and labelling us with our personal level of skill and talent and then those always present hand written notes on the side. Those words have the power to change how our loved ones see us and how we indeed see ourselves. The die has been cast.

Fast forward to your first job and its the same thing. First you had to have someone like you to get the interview to show your skills, then prove yourself worthy on all accounts to get an offer of a position. From then on your daily performance is weighed, measured and valued - sometimes on your own merit, sometimes on that of your superior and other times only on your mistakes. One strike of a pen is enough to change the course of your life in a job performance evaluation - no matter what our personal position and preferences may be.

Somehow during all of these things we are taught that the external us is what matters and what is valued but I think that is when we start to feel off track and out of balance with ourselves and our lives and begin to search for something. Something more, something better - we're really not sure, but are confident that when we find it we will know.

Then one day, if we are lucky it doesn't take too long - we take the time to smell the flowers we planted from seed, after having watched them grow and bloom to their ultimate beauty. Something inside of us recognizes that it is things like this that matter and not being a size 0. Somewhere inside we feel that knot that has been inside our stomach unwind and we begin to breathe deeper and more satisfying than ever before.

Every part of us is important and should be valued, expressed and appreciated and it is what we think of ourselves that is vastly more important than what we have allowed a perfect stranger to do. Once we see where we have gone off track, we realize we are worthy of our own trust and belief in self. Then it is easy to do if we are willing to be that dreaded thing - selfish.

Putting yourself first has gotten a bad wrap and is ultimately necessary for our own survival. All it really is - is believing we are worth it. Believing we are worth spending the time on no matter what it is - being healthy, learning something new, taking in relaxation, exercising a belief system, you name it.

Having faith in our abilities, being confident in our successes and trusting that we know what is right for ourselves is what will propel us forward in life. Without having these things for and within ourselves how could we possibly appreciate them in others, the planet and so on?

If it registers and resonates within you, that is you - telling you something, we just need to learn to listen to that and trust its ok. After all, don't we really have our own best interests at heart?